My Dilemna....

Blogging is great! What an awesome place to just get stuff out of your head, and get a little feedback while your at it too! Today's topic is something that I am very torn about and go back and forth with myself like every day on what I should do. It is frustrating UGH! I have been praying about it, but haven't received my instructions just yet.....I don't think?

NURSING SCHOOL!!!!!

BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That is my Dilemna!
Should I go back now, or should I wait. Here is the situation.

 I could go back in January (you have to pick up where you left off) and I would have to take one class, and them 2 days of clincal, for that semester. If I go back in January I am guarenteed a spot in the program, I wouldn't have to wait to get back in. (Bonus for Nursing program)  I wouldnt have to retake any of the classes I already have, which are alot.

If I don't go back in January though, I basically have to start over from scratch, retake everything, and go back into the pool of students trying to get into the nursing program.

Now I was in the nursing program before, and I did ok in it, except for the one med surg. class I didn't pass, which is what kicked me out of the program. (In my defense I'm not dumb, I just was very sick at the beginning of that semester, and fell behind, once you fall behind it is very difficult to "catch up", So I passed one class that semester, and didnt pass one class that semester)

Anywho...one of my biggest problems with going to school is my husbands schedule. He works swing shift, and it could be all 3 different shifts in one week, I never know, well I digress, I do know his schedule one week in advance, which stinks! It makes it very hard to plan and coordinate most things. I'm not complaining, I am THANKFUL he has a job! So along with his schedule is my babysitting dilemna.  I dont really have anyone to watch my baby, my one friend who was going to do it for me, went back to work. I am very paticular about babysitters.....it's something I worry about alot, because my kids have never been to daycare or anything like that, I have always been here to take care of them or my husband has, with some occasions when family would help us out.

So basically it all comes down to babysitting and his schedule, when I was in school before, for example I would have class all day sometimes one day, and then I would pick the kids up from the babysitters house, or they would be here, and I would have to do dinner, homework, baths etc  on top of all my stuff I would need to get done for school ( your work is never done in Nursing school) LOL
Then the next day I would have to be at clinical really early in the morning like 6am sometimes which poses a dilemna if my husband were on days or midnights but would work out if he was on afternoons.

Are you all still following me?

So this is just what I have been tossing around in my head, for like 2 years!

Another factor is My own fear factor....because I am afraid to fail again..... It is a very demanding program, and I have a family, and I don't want to neglect my family, but at the same time I know that they (they meaning nursing instructors) don't care if your kid is sick, or if you had to do homework and make dinner yadda yadda.....
Another thing I worry about is, what if I forgot the stuff I already learned in the program, and I feel even more lost or behind....UGH It makes me sick going back and forth with this all day long in my head.

The benefits of graduating the program would be that I could get a job, a good paying job at that, just about anywhere once I graduate. Which would help take some of the financial responsibility off my husband, or if heaven forbid something were to happen with his job, or with him, I would be able to support my family.


This stresses me out, but the clock is ticking, if I want to go back I need to have my paperwork in by October......Im terrified, that may sound silly, but it is SO true!

Anyway I thought instead of letting all this bounce around in my head....were I get nowhere, I would see what the outside world has to say.

P.S. Here is my advice to young people....Go to college and get your degree before you have a family, it is so much easier.

Let me know what you think, and if you could keep me in prayer, and ask God to give me some guidance, I would really appreciate it! I know I would be a good nurse, and I know I could using Nursing as a way to minister to people too, I just dont know if I should do it now or wait till my kids are older...........*looooooooooooooooooong Sigh* HELP!