Friday, October 2, 2009

STRENGTH!!

Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

So this morning I decided to work out, I popped in my biggest loser cardio max dvd and I was off to the races. As I was doing lunges, I heard my knees, going creeeeck creeeeck, no joke they were really making that sound LOL. I thought oh my gosh I hope these babies don't give out on me! I have noticed that as I have been being lazy and havent got much physical activity that I am not as strong as I used to be....I notice it even in the little things, like for example, hiking Baby Brianna's little tush up when I am changing her diaper, I am like whew she is heavy! I have become weak. I haven't been taking care of myself as I should be. Where did my strength go??  I need it back, I want to be strong and healthy!
So despite my creaking I carried on.......and felt great after I was done, sweaty and tired, but it felt good to actually be motivated enough to do a work out instead of saying to myself, just chill on the couch.

Then I was in the shower, and I was thinking about school again. (I think about this all the time, it scares me to death to go back, because I am afraid that I wont remember something I previously learned, or that something will come up with conflicting schedules and Ill be all stressed out, that I am not smart enough....the list goes on. School is one of the most stressful things I think I have and will have to again go through, yet I want to accomplish that goal, I made for myself).

Ok back to in the shower  (LOL) so as I was washing my hair, this verse came to me.

Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

It just made so much sense to me about my whole morning.

I started thinking how everthing happens for a reason.

Failing my one nursing class, put me out of school for at least a year, in that year so many things were happening. Our old house was a construction zone, and what a nightmare to live in constant construction.
We ended up moving, into a great house, which we love, and have a fresh start.

I discovered, that I was pregnant with Brianna, whom we did not plan, but it was God's plan.
Being pregnant with Brianna was such an amazing experience too, because I had her at home, and getting to know my midwife, whom I am sure will be a life long friend was another blessing.
My home birth went very well, and it was such an amazing thing to go through, I wish I would have thought to do it sooner. It really made me appreciate life, and how truely amazing it is!

I became closer to God and started devoting more time to him, and his word. I made it a priority for myself and my family.  I matured in my walk with Him, and I am realizing, how things happen in his time, not ours.
I have met some really great people whom I consider my friends at church, and having them around to influence my life has been another blessing. The self doubt that I had before is slowly fading away and I feel like i have the STRENGTH to accomplish my goals, and to not be afraid, and to step out there and get it done! The enemy held me back by placing fear in my heart, but knowing what I know about God, and my Savior, how can I possibly let this fear keep me anymore?  I CAN'T and I WON'T!

So yeah as I was in the shower I had this epiphany, and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me.
God spoke to me, by giving me this verse and letting me know that I have nothing to be afraid of. That through him I have STRENGTH, I know he has already worked in my life, in so many ways, and I also know that he isnt done with me yet.

So here it is WORLD, I am not afraid!

I have Strength, and I CAN do it!

Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.